Before I moved away from my home I never thought I would feel homesick. All I thought I ever wanted was to recreate myself, a better self, in a different place surrounded by different things and different people. This, in fact, is what I want, but there is more. I realized that not only do I want to live away from home, away from everyone and everything I know, but I also want to be home, I want to be with my family and everyone and everything I love. This is not possible. I cannot have both. This is what I and everyone who has ever moved away from home comes to realize.
So, what do you do? What do you choose?
First, if you even have this choice, be thankful, not everyone does.
Family, friendship, companionship, community, and love, these are food for the soul. Without these, we die. We are tender creatures, we almost always feel hungry for more food, more love, more friendship, more companionship. Traveling far away from home is spiritual because you are forced to go without food, you are left vulnerable and end up finding food in places you never thought you would. This is a beautiful awakening to the good nature of humans and yourself. It is an invaluable skill to learn to be kind to another human being, to give love to another human being.
In my homesickness, I came to realize how important everyone and everything I left behind is to me. They are the reason I even want to be better. They are my roots, my soles, my beginning. When I close my eyes at night they fill my dreams and when I think of my future I cry thinking of their absence. But, still, something pulls me forward on my path. I want to be better. I want to know more. O
When you are homesick, deeply homesick, you will realize, what you hold most dear. When you do realize it, you must take care. Although, you will always need to make sacrifice, take this moment of awakening to decide what is most important to you. Life can feel directionless, but if you direct yourself towards what is most important to you, you will soon see the forest for the trees.
In the meantime, send your lovebugs letters, packages, emails, messages, phone calls, and video calls. Tell them you love them. And spread that love as far as you can to the people around you. Fight against your hunger and feed the people around you. You will find love, friendship, companionship in the most unlikely places.